Trust is earned
by koldatherine
Summary: A short one shot about Elena's feelings if her friends had reacted differently after she turned on her humanity again.


**Already uploaded this on my tumblr, but I decided to upload it on here too. **

**Actually this is what I wanted to happen after Elena got her humanity back. I don't like Elena, she is my least favorite character at the moment, but would Julie have done this, I would have started to like her again.**

**Hope you'll like reading this.**

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**Trust Is Earned**

It hurt, seeing and hearing them laugh. She didn't dare to step closer, afraid what they would say or do. They most likely would stop talking and leave, sending a glare her way. After all the things that she had done to them and put them through to save her live, Elena knew that she deserved it. Maybe she should consider herself lucky that Bonnie had given her hope that there was a chance for them to become friends again. She thought back to the evening she realized that she had lost her friends.

_Elena hung her head low in shame, unsure of how her friends would react. Stefan had called both Caroline and Bonnie, after her emotions had returned. This was going to be hard, but Elena hoped that their years of friendship could outlast this. As she rose her head and opened her mouth to speak, Caroline stopped her._

_"Don't." She snapped in an angry voice. "Don't you dare to apologize now."_

_"I- I don't under-" Elena couldn't even finish her sentence as Bonnie interrupted her in a softer tone then Caroline._

_"Elena, you have to understand that in the last months we have been put through hell and all that simply to save you. We can't do this anymore." The witch explained, being the calm one to Elena's surprise._

_"I am sorry. You know that." Elena said, feeling the unstoppable wave of her newfound emotions._

_"Sure, you are." Caroline snorted, earning a glare from Bonnie. That move made Elena believe that they had talked about this before they had come here and apparently Caroline wasn't keeping to what they had agreed on._

_"We know that, but we are tired of losing so much for the sake of your happiness." Bonnie reasoned, not wanting to upset Elena more and risk it that the young vampire once again turned off her emotions._

_"But I-" Once again Caroline stopped her._

_"Damn it, Elena. You tried to kill my mother. You tried to kill Bonnie. You've been rude and cruel to everyone around you and we are too annoyed and tired to live with the excuse that it wasn't you because you didn't have any feelings." The blonde exclaimed and Elena let her head hung low. "And even before that. How many people have we lost, because we had to save your ass. We are always there for you and you were never there for us. We can't and won't do this anymore. If I wanted to be treated badly I would have stayed with Damon."_

_Every word out of Caroline's mouth was like a punch in her face. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the blonde was right. It was all Elena's fault._

_"Elena, we just need a bit of time apart. We don't say that there is no hope that we can't be friends again in the future, but right now we can't. I lost so much because of you or the Salvatore brothers. I always helped because of you, but enough is enough." Bonnie turned away after her little speech, ready to leave. "Goodbye, Elena."_

_"We are sorry, Elena. But we can't do this anymore." Caroline said, this time calmer._

_Elena was left alone in the living room of the Salvatore boarding house with tears streaming down her face. The worst that could happen to Elena after having lost her little brother just happened to her, she had lost her friends. Her legs gave out under her and she fell to the floor, not able to stop the constant flow of tears. The thought of taking revenge on Katherine was the farthest thing from her mind._

After she had calmed down, she had thought how she could win back her friends. The only thing that she could think of was to gain back their trust, but that proved to be harder than she thought. So, now she watched them from afar. She hated every minute of it. Elena Gilbert didn't want to be alone anymore. She wanted her friends back, her family. She was afraid that they could never forgive her and even if they did, Elena doubted that they could ever forget what she had done. She deserved it. She even deserved worse.

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